A platonic love or a crush can break a heart,
or just scratch it?
P.S. I have the Ninja Llama!!!!
I can't believe I wrote thisIf someone asks me if I loved you, I could easily answer negatively and not even, like, lie.
The thing is that I was not in love with him as a person.
I was not in love with his appearence. I was in love with the way he would take care of himself and even be late for an hour in order to look good when he met me.
I was not in love with his sense of humor, although he made me laugh (I have never seen you laugh like that! my friends told me). I was in love with how he told his jokes - with conviction, because he knew that I would laugh. The sparks in his eyes.
I was not in love with his smile. I was in love with how he smiled at me.
I was not in love with his romanticism. I was in love with how he studied my every gesture and how he tried to understand them.
I was not in love with the "little things". I was in love with knowing that he did them for me.
I loved that he knew how to love me.
I'm selfish, I know.
I was in love with how he randomly bit my ear during a hug.
RebornThere was pain. Rage. Defiance. Fear. So much fear.
It was not darkness, because darkness is something.
It was just… emptiness.
Soothing, calm nothingness surrounded us.
There had to be some kind of existence. We existed.
My bonds of life finally broken.
Nothing pulling me back.
Memories slipping away.
My being seizing to exist.
Finally some peace.
The pain was gone.
I had forgotten what it felt like.
I was free.
We were free.
Alone in a realm of nothing.
I didn't feel happy.
I told you to shut up.
Just me finally allowed to die.
No. I wasn't allowed. I didn't ask permission.
I took my death, I chose it.
It was my choice. My actions.
Never a slave again.
Finally free to stop existing.
No more pain.
No more fear.
Time was nothing.
It did not exist.
It might have been eons I was there.
grief comes easyi
i stopped in my tracks the first time i saw you.
it wasn't the cheesy love at first sight things,
it was more of
"Damn, i didn't know people like you still existed."
my mother still cries
all i can do is hug her.
there is an old man in a wheel chair
with a grief-stricken face
visitsvisited his wife everyday
never brought flowers,
i always bought two bouquets of roses for his grave.
i never understood what this meant.
i couldn't find my journal so
i wrote this down at the back of my
foreign policy analysis notebook.
Stalin did not come out of his office for 3 days when Hitler betrayed him.
i showed up every day since i lost you.
i don't want anyone to find this
but i swear to God, i need you to read this.
there aren't any right words
i never thought i'd want to save a stranger so badly.